Can honesty and hypocrisy go hand in hand?

Honesty means among other things, freedom from deceit or fraud, and is used as a synonym for integrity, honor, forthrightnes among other things. Hypocrisy means a pretense of having a virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles that someone does not really possess. Its amazing these days how people claim to value honesty, yet don't show it in their everyday lives.

Can a person be considered honest if they steal? Most people would say no way, or qualify it some way, like well he's honest at work, or with me, etc. Can a person be considered honest if they lie? Most people would again say no. By that very narrow definition, what does a lie of omission mean? What does the invasion of personal property entail? What does trying to launch World War III under false pretenses become?

I ask this question as a person who does not claim to be honest all the time. I have lied on occasion, I have taken things without asking (so I guess technically I have stolen in my life). I cheated on partners in the past (before I got with my current girlfriend), but most people you ask about me would say I'm honest. So does this make me a hypocrite? Probably, but at least I'm honest enough to admit it.

You can't desire honesty, and be unwilling to show it yourself. You can't be dishonest and then say its because of someone else, or that they're manipulating you. You can't accuse people of acts without any proof, and call yourself an honest person. You can't paint a picture of yourself as a constant victim, without filling in the picture of the part that you play in the situation. You can't break confidences because you think it bolsters the points that you make. You can't go through people's private communications just because.

You know why you can't do those things? Because it makes you more than hypocritical, it makes you a liar. It makes you the very same thing you don't like in other people. Only a liar would hold someone to a standard that they don't hold themselves to. Its like stealing, someone told me, it doesn't matter if you take a penny or a dollar without permission, its still wrong. Most of my life I've listened to that. As a matter of fact, I can think of only three times I haven't listened to that advice.

Stealing someone's privacy is in someways worse. You feel violated, and almost trapped in your own environment. You get secretive, because you're not sure when the next time your personal affairs and items will be rifled through. You're not sure when the next time you'll be forced to explain the context of another person's words. You begin to feel trapped. Taking money is one thing, but money is easily replaced, and can be easily safeguarded. Taking someone's privacy, is in many ways worse, because you don't know how to get it back, or how to feel like things are even private anymore. That sense of safety you get knowing things are private, is gone, and if its an "honest" person that does that to you, well what's more hypocritical than that?

Regrets, I've had a few, an open letter to you know who

I'm back, its been awhile since I posted last. What's happened? Well our son's been born, he's gonna be five months old in early December. You might wonder, why I would write about him on a blog that talks about regret, but he's the best thing that's ever happened to me in my life. My regrets centre around his mother. She's the best thing that's happened to me in a long time, probably second only to my son being born. Too bad, all to often, I don't treat her like that.

I don't do anything physically harmful to her, I'd never do that. I respect her way to much, I just neglect her sometimes. I love her obviously, but there's things I've done, and things I've said to her that if I could take them back, I'd never have done them. What's that lyric by Sheryl Crow say, "Lie to me, I promise I'll believe." There's so many things that I wish I could take back, so many things I said I'd do, but never did, so many things I did I wish I hadn't, so many places I went, I wish I'd told her about.

I never thought that she would ever really be angry with me. Then again, if you keep doing stupid things, what do you expect? If she reads this, then I hope she realizes that in spite of everything I've ever done, I love her. Even when she's angry at me, (and rightfully so, right now she's beyond angry at me), I love her.

She's going on a trip right now, going to a place where she feels safe to think about things. I'm going to miss her so much, but I have to let her go right now. How do you get back something you stupidly let go? No matter what your reasons are, there's a right and a wrong way to do things. Shouldn't you just be a man and admit your mistakes? God I wish I had, no actually I wish I had never made them in the first place.

I hope she reads this. I hope that she knows that no matter what I love what we have, our baby and each other. She asked me a question and I'm going to try to answer it.

You have to want to get over it. You have to want to try, and know that it won't be easy, and it won't be quick. You have to know there will be times you can't stand me because you're still pissed and want to push on past that anyways. You have to believe it can happen.

I have to do the things to help you get past it. I have to take your anger even when its irrational or unwarranted because I'm the reason you're mad in the first place. I'm willing to do whatever it takes, I don't care. I have to, there's to much at stake.